A very ugly 10km that should have been 14km

A week of little sleep and I was really not feeling a 14km.  But even so, I got up and tried to find the enthusiasm to complete it. 

I decided to go back and forth along the walkway and then head out for 4km up the road so that I got my 14km in.  But as I completed my first 2km and turned back I felt my stomach lurch and I was gripped with cramps.  There was a toilet about 200m up from me and I managed to make it.  I started my walk again and turned back for the next 2km segment.  It was hot and humid and I was struggling.  I was stopping constantly to drink water but soon my stomach cramps hit me again and it was another mad dash to the toilet. 

My TFL was burning constantly and all I could think about was .. is this an ok pain or the starting of a bad pain.   But with my stomach in knots, struggling with diarrhea and dry retching ... I knew I was not going to make the walk.   I made the call to turn back, buy now my pace was slowing to a crawl.  I was struggling with lightheadedness and made sure I stopped to drink as much as I could.  I finally made it to the end of the walkway and just hit stop.  There was little point trying to flog myself any further.  I have entered a 5km race tomorrow....I fear it will be a disaster. 

time for the 10.52 was 1:07:56

This pretty much just caps my week off really. 

This week I have felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.  My daughter had her baby on Wednesday, my 3rd grandchild.  While this should have been a fantastic day, it ended being one of my most saddest.  My daughters have estranged themselves from my family and so when the baby was born, no one in our family was contacted.   Leaving me hurt and frustrated by it all.  My mother was abused for putting a photo on her f/b and the abuse was abhorrent and relentless until she felt there was no other option but to remove the photo.  I have carried this with me all week, I feel so badly for my mother who didnt need this anger and abuse, sorry that my daughter spent so much energy over this when she should have spent that energy on her new born daughter, sorry that I was not able to be there for her, sorry that my whole family has been effected by this and that she doesnt seem to care.

I have two weeks until my next competition and I really have to find away to put this out of my mind as it is effecting me way more than it should.

10.5km data